Get Your Eyes Off of You!

How often have you heard someone say “Man!! She sure knows how to push my buttons!” or “Its not my fault SHE’S the one who is WRONG!” Whenever we get into anger situations I always like to ask a person just what actions do they take to get the eyes OFF of themselves? If a person points out that we are wrong and we feel our anger start to rise, what do we say? By far the most powerful technique is one that few men have been able to master. It involves an incredible amount of swallowing ones pride and humility but it has the most profound effect on avoiding anger situations. The technique is to remember any time you find yourself in that situation with being confronted with being told you are wrong is to say,  “You are right”.

 

Now, This isn’t spoken with ANY degree of sarcasm. On the contrary, it is spoken from a true heart of sincerity. The speaking of these 3 words could turn many an argument’s direction. When these words are spoken it keeps the focus on YOUR wrong instead of going down that tempting road of pointing the finger at where the OTHER person is wrong. Now, of course you may not totally be 100% convinced and KNOW you were wrong. The important thing is to SAY it first, then, after avoiding the conflict, try and figure out the 1% that you might have contributed to the problem. Alcoholics Anonymous has a fabulous passage they share within their group. It says:

  

 “Putting out of our minds the wrong others have done, we resolutely look for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though the situation had not been entirely our fault we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame?... We admitted our wrongs honestly and we're willing to set these matters straight”.

 

Anger Management San Antonio