Center for Personal and Relationship Growth http://cprg.posterous.com Marriage Counseling, Individual Counseling, and Anger Management posterous.com Tue, 19 Jun 2012 19:30:25 -0700 From An Acorn To An Oak Tree http://cprg.posterous.com/from-an-acorn-to-an-oak-tree http://cprg.posterous.com/from-an-acorn-to-an-oak-tree

One of life’s greatest miracles is that something so small as an acorn can grow into a huge, massive oak tree. Now, of course, this transformation does not occur overnight. It takes years and years of nourishment and growth. It takes patience and nurturing to watch such a small seed grow to something so large and impressive. To many that are contemplating (or already have take the first steps of getting handle on their anger) this analogy is so powerful. Those first few steps- calling a therapist, getting an anger management book, discussing your fears and aspirations with your partner- all can seem as such small, insignificant steps. In retrospect, however, they are impressive and influential! It’s important to sometimes reflect on the “small seeds” of these steps that were taken to seek a peace and harmony and rest from the nightmarish experience of anger and rage. One needs to reflect on the absolute potential to grow into something magnificent. To reflect on the wondrous blessing of a life that does not have the terror and fright of out of control physical and verbal exchanges. The serenity of a life that is not littered with past episodes that are rife with the “carnage” of battered people and possessions. The vision is an boundless, exciting, vivid goal that a person dealing with anger in their life needs to have as their vision.


Sometimes, however, I see clients in anger management therapy sessions that tend to place limits on their vision and their potential to grow into this magnificent “oak tree”. Like any tree trying to grow though, we do need the right conditions. The advantage we have over acorns, though, is we can place ourselves in situations that facilitate and enhance growth. What are some thing that can foster a much more productive environment for growth in anger management success?

  1. READ! There is a virtual cornucopia of material on the Internet and in bookstores that address the subject of rage and anger management. If you are in therapy, the techniques that your anger management therapist has given you are merely are a few tools in your “tool belt”. It is so important that as you venture forth on your journey of mastering your anger that you INCREASE your level of knowledge. Knowledge of different types of self-soothing techniques. Knowledge of new and upcoming research items in the area of anger management. Knowledge of new anger management ideas. All of these contribute to giving you more tools to enhance your growth in mastering your anger.
  2. Surround yourself with positive, goal-oriented people. Many times the individuals I work with, after a period of time, start to associate with many of the negative minded individuals who tend to contribute to a poor life outlook. These individuals, very often, tend to me irresponsible with their anger and their overall perceptions. All of this can contribute to “back-sliding” back into old habit patterns and regression to out of proportion anger responses. However, if one focuses on spending time with family and positive-minded friends, that can encourage the individual and ultimately provide an environment for success and growth.
  3. PERSIST! When it looks like you just can’t seem to make progress or you feel like you had a few bad experiences with your anger HANG IN THERE!. Remember… this is a marathon race NOT a sprint!!!
  4. Try new things! When you see yourself having difficulties that persist in certain circumstances, try some different strategies. This might mean consulting with your Anger Management therapist or your partner to get their perspective. Many times it might mean attacking a problem from a different perspective to finally achieve a victory in that area.
  5. Work on your goals…EVERY DAY!!!

 

Remember…inside every acorn there is an oak tree. Are you truly maximizing YOUR potential ion growing in your mastery of anger management?

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